Pushing Up

It’s been pretty cold the last two weeks in New York—highs in the 20s most days. Cold enough that I found myself wondering what the temperatures were like in Texas. I remember days in January and February where the temps could reach 80 degrees. Sounds lovely right now!

Even though the ground and trees reflect winter’s clock, I was pleasantly surprised to see little shoots of daffodils pushing up through the soil. Last spring I noticed patches of daffodils scattered around our yard, which was pretty in its own way, but this year I wanted to cluster the daffodils in a central location to create more of an impact. So last fall I planted my saved bulbs around the base of our Weeping Cherry tree. If feels too early to call these tender shoots “signs of spring,” but I couldn’t stop myself from smiling and feeling excitement rise inside me.

Daffodils are an early spring bloomer, and as this new month progresses these shoots will only become more evident. I do worry about them, though. What winter storms loom on the horizon? What heavy frosts await?

I know the garden analogy is often over-used, but I need to use it one more time. Some days I’m as fragile as the daffodil shoot. I begin the day with a sense of gratitude and an awareness of God’s presence, but how quickly harsh, hurried words come out of my mouth in the morning rush, hurting those I love. As the day continues, I fret about this detail or that. Did Anna put all of her homework in her backpack? Did Brad turn in his receipts to be reimbursed? Silly, non-life-threatening details, yet they roll around in my head, distracting me from being fully present. As the day continues, I allow fears and insecurities to nag at me. Why does it take so long to settle into a new place and forge new friendships? Will I ever see my book idea grow in a real book? Will my children make it through their teenage years with their faith intact?

I don’t want to live this way.

Like the fragile daffodil shoot, I need to push through the soil without fear or worry about “looming storms.” The storms will come. Yet, I trust in God’s promises—His record of faithfulness to me over the years.

For a while now, I have been reading through the Psalms on a continuing basis. When I come to Psalm 150, I start all over again; praying and reading my way back through. I’ve underlined verses or dated certain Psalms that speak to me so now when I come back to them it’s like meeting an old friend. This past week I started over with Psalm 1.

“Blessed are those who delight in the law of the Lord and meditate on his law day and night. They are like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season.”

In another month or so, my daffodils should be blooming, yielding their yellow, white, and orange blooms in season. I, too, want to bloom—deeply planted in God’s word and trusting him throughout the seasons.